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Greetings from the Future: Gigi to Open in Midtown

March 27, 2010

According to a recent job posting on Craigslist, “the creator of the Townhouse Hotel, Bond Street, Bardot, Buck 15, Sra Martinez, and Miss Yip” (I’m assuming that means Amir Ben-Zion) is opening a new restaurant on the same block as Bardot (which is on North Miami Avenue, between 34th and 35th Streets in the Midtown/Wynwood neighborhoods).

While the restaurant, called Gigi, has not yet opened its doors, we can all appreciate the beginning of the full-court PR press.  Here is the very best passage, perhaps the best single paragraph ever penned about a restaurant:

“From the futuristic Blackberries with which the waiters text your order directly to the chefs, to the monastery-&-kibbutz-style communal tables set as nowhere else in town, to the content driven art on the walls and the earth-conscious stark design. Gigi is an industry innovator.”

My brain hurts just trying to understand what “content driven art” is or why they’ve been stealing tables from monasteries and kibbutzim.  Lots of angry Jewish monks are going to be standing outside Gigi with pitchforks.

Anyways, please feel free to post your translations from PR-speak into English in the comments below.  And also, please let me know where I can find a futuristic Blackberry.  I’ve been typing emails on a literal blackberry.  My fingers are stained purple.

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. buena vista permalink
    March 29, 2010 4:26 pm

    Somehow I feel like this place is going to be super lame.

  2. marcia permalink
    July 13, 2010 4:07 pm

    Jeff McInnis is an amazing chef – they’re lucky to have landed him. I can’t wait to try it out. And no, I don’t do the PR for anyone here – just love the team in place! Already eager to go check it out!

  3. amir ben-zion permalink
    August 29, 2010 2:58 pm

    come for dinner you Schmendrik and see what we mean when we say futuristic BB…….dinner for 4 on me, abz

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